Melancholic

The warmth spreads through the heart. The world that goes in a slow motion
The eyes that widened at your sight
The moment i laid eyes on you

All makes me happy.

But am i hearing a melancholic tune along with it?

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Haunted

You occupy my living moments
You haunt my innocent sleep
You fill my hunger pangs

I wish to cross your path
At least once a day
I wish for you to be in
My dreams, everyday

Do I mean something to you?
Will you answer only to me?

Don't see me as one among others
As I wish to be one among you!

I have lost myself in you
I wish for you to be mine
So, i can be afraid of losing you!

That One Second

The sky has turned a deep blue though it was time for it to turn dark. The wind that was hitting against her soft face was cool and she squinted her eyes. With one hand clutching her hand bang, she tried to control her flying hair. The walk was a short one.

She was walking on the edge of the road and she could hear a vehicle approaching from the opposite direction. It was coming in a speed that was neither slow nor fast and it seemed that the driver was unable to decide on it.

She looked at the vehicle once and returned her gaze back to the path ahead. After a second she looked back again. Wasn't that a familiar shirt? She tried seeing clearly through her spectacles and the nature played villain in her way. A few droplets of rain fell on her frame and traced their way to the glass. She blinked twice and the decided that familiarity was beyond that shirt alone.

It was him. Her heart started beating faster and the world seemed blurred around him.

The bike was coming very near. And her vision was getting better and better. She tried to have a look at that piercing eyes. She averted her eyes from the rider and when the bike was parallel to her, she tried to have one look. Her eyes gradually shifted to those melting eyes. For a fraction of a second their eyes met and the world had paused for her. The bike went past her and the slowly revolving world regained its original speed. She walked a few steps ahead and stood still. She had difficulty breathing and she had a hard time believing that he looked at her, even though it was for a second. A second or a nano-second, time doesn't matter.

She turned her head and looked at the tail lights of the passing vehicle. It seemed to be going in the same speed. The bike was approaching the right turn of the road and she turned back her head and looked at the road ahead of her.

She looked back a few moments later and the vacant road stared back at her. A tiny drop of rain water fell on her right cheek. It rolled down towards the fall that awaited it and another drop from the other eye accumulated near the edge of the eye and joined the falling drop.

Unrequited love - Part 4

Aaditya looked at her face and expected her to bring a person from her royal blue handbag. But she simply stood there staring at his face with that innocent smile.

A tear fell from his eyes and rolled down his cheeks.

“I have always been in love with you Aaditya. But I felt that you would prefer a slim,beautiful girl and not a person like me. So, I never expressed it”

Her eyes flooded and Aaditya wanted to hold her in his arms and kiss away the tears. But fate didn’t allow him that.
“You were always beautiful to me Rati. You will not know how many roses failed to be graced in your hand because of my lack of courage. I love you and I have always loved you!”

The two lovers spelled out their unrequited love.

It had been a few months since their confession and Rati had been taking care of Aaditya. Aaditya was in an elated mood since their meeting and his mood had improved a lot. But his health was deteriorating rapidly. Doctors had found a clot in an arterty supplying his brain. But he never cared for he had his love with him.

Aaditya passed away a year later.
Rati felt depression washing over her once again. At the height of her depression, she took a knife from the kitchen and slashed her wrists. But she was saved and after months of counselling, she started looking at life in a new way.
_______________________________________________________________________________
She had finished her coffee and she kept the blood stained knife back in her bag. She had kept the knife as a remembrance. It freaked out her frinds and family, but she was different.

It was the first year anniversary of Aditya’s death. She had taken that knife along with her to remind herself to live.
She will not try to take away her life again, because it is not just hers. It was theirs and she will live for both of them and for their love.

Unrequited love - Part 3

2015

The hospital smell always got on her nerves. The smell of the spirit and the disinfectant made her nauseous. She composed herself and made her way to room no 201. She had come to see a colleague of hers who had met with an accident.

It was disturbing to look at her with all those bandages and tubes. She left after some time and when she crossed room no 200, a familiar voice struck her from the open room.

It had been years, ten years to be exact since he had heard it. It was Aaditya. She was sure.

Her legs took her inside the room in a swift motion and she looked at the person on the bed. Aaditya stopped talking for a moment and looked back at her.

The two people looked at each other and the memories flooded them with emotion.

“What happened?” Rati asked in a small voice.

“I met with a minor accident. Nothing much. What brought you here? It has been many years and you haven’t changed, have you?”

“I came to visit a friend who is in the room next to you. Yes. It is the same me here”

The two people chatted about the world with the newly found comfortness which they were searching for earlier. But they carefully avoided asking each other about the possible family they might have.
Rati visited him the next day. She went there and was surprised to find Aaditya in a wheelchair.

The doctor was talking to him and after the doctor had left, she went in and looked at him enquiringly.

“I am sorry. I didn’t expect you to return and so, I didn’t want to burn you with the facts. I met with an accident. For a minute I was walking and the next thing I know, I am in a hospital. My condition as far as now is bad.”

“Why are you in a wheelchair?”

“To know how it feels like!”

“I am sorry Aaditya. I do not mean to be inquisitive”

His anger melted as soon as it came.
“My both arms and legs are paralysed Rati. I can’t use them. I need someone to take care of me always. I must have been a ruthless killer in my past life for having been blessed with this!”

She went near him and caressed is hair.
“You will get well soon. Don’t worry”

He was surprised at her touch.

“Where is your family Aaditya?”

“Mom was incessantly crying and dad was looking at me with forlorn eyes. so, I have asked them to leave me alone.”

“Your wife?”

“I don’t have one. I never married Rati”

“Why?”

“Never felt like it. What about you Rati?”

“I never felt like marrying too”

“Really?”

“It is tough handling one person in my heart”

“You love someone?” Aaditya asked with sadness etched in his voice.

“Yes. Never knew whether the other person love me or not. But, I guess it is high time I ask him”

“When are you goimg to?”

“Now”

Unrequited love - Part 2

Aaditya was not the most handsome person in their office. He was not the most talented person either. He was a mix of the two and he was not a chatty type. All these things appealed to Rati and for the first time, she felt her heart ache for a person.

They have been working at the company for a year, when Aaditya joined them at their office from a different branch. Though he earned a lot, his lifestyle was simple and he never hesitated in helping others. He was the perfect person, who usually appears only in books and movies.

He was nearly perfect except for a minor glitch. He kept to himself and never joined others for other than office activities.

For Rati, he seemed like a strong coffee in the early morning. She felt her soul energized. Stronger and happier.
Rati never told her feelings to anyone, not even to Shalini. Both of them didn’t have any secrets until Rati kept her feelings secret from Shalini.

During group discussions, when it was his turn to speak, Rati felt difficult to concentrate. Her eyes also fell on his lips and she had always tried not to stare at it for too long.

All these feelings were new to her and she was enjoying every minute of it and after crushing on him for three months, she realized that she was in love with him.

Aadithya was staring at his computer. The words on the computer looked hazy and his heart was beating faster. His fingers remained static on the keyboard and he was getting flustered all of a sudden.

Rati was speaking to the person near him and she was laughing to a joke that person had said and that laugh pierced his heart. He had been in love with her at first sight. Then after getting to know more about her, he liked her even more. But his confidence evaded him whenever he tried to be near her.

That had been the reason he had always avoided her.

But from a distance, he admired her playfulness and he realized that she would be the perfect light for his perpetual gloominess.

His mind also warned him that she was bright and beautiful and she obviously wouldn’t want a man like him. His life went on without a profound meaning to it and he tried to gain confidence with each passing day

Rati and Shalini were sitting cross legged on their apartment floor and Shalini was decoding the meaning of life.

“Why is that half of our classmates are married and the other half has boyfriends or fiancés and we are still single?”

“Are we that bad? We haven’t had even a single proposal in our entire life”

Rati lied down on the floor and rested her legs on the sofa.

“We are doomed to be a spinster Shalini.”

“Really?” Shalini pouted

“Or marry the person your parents see for you and live happily ever after!”

“I prefer being a Spinster to that!”

Shalini rested her head on the sofa and said “What do you think we will be doing after some thirty forty years, apart from remaining single?”

“Getting old and chatting about getting a proposal.”

“You could be right Rati!”

“I am”

With that, Rati went on to open the curatins of the balcony. The setting sun emitted a faint orange glow and her eyes fell on the blue colour Maruti car standing below, in front of her apartments. When she tried to get a good view, it went away.

Even Aaditya had a blue Maruti car and for a minute she had thought that to be him. She went back in, plugged on her earphones and mused upon her life.
Aaditya looked at the bunch of red roses on the passenger seat next to him. Just one look and all his courage had evaded him, once again.

Unrequited love - Part 1

She sat in the Starbucks cafe, sipping her coffee and staring out of the window. The blood stained knife lay next to her handbag, covered with her blue silk scarf. The coffee spread the bitterness in her mouth and for some strange reason, it warmed her heart.

She looked out through the window again. The sky has turned a deep blue and the air-conditioned place seemed a little cooler than before. Rain had started coming in drops from the sky. The dry leaves in a nearby tree started turning lush green with the raindrops.

The pour was beginning to thicken and she noticed two figures standing across the road. It was an old man and an old woman. The old man looked so fragile and his spine was bent and in his one hand he was holding the even more fragile hand of the old woman. The old couple started crossing the road hand in hand, with the old gentleman guiding his queen.

A gentle smile formed at the corner of her lips and tiny droplets formed at the corner of her eyes. The tears fell down smoothly and she looked away from the retreating couple to stare at her blue scarf. She gently traced the smoothness of silk and she stopped at the point where the blood has soaked through the material.  She remembered the day she had first laid her eyes on the scarf. It seemed a distant memory, but a happier on
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The sun was shining brightly and that day seemed to be competing for the hottest day ever. Rati entered the mall and the air conditioned place hit her like a snowstorm. She searched for her friend through the Saturday crowd at the mall. It was easy to find her friend than most people because her friend, Shalini Nair was nearly 6 feet.

Shalini was standing at a distance with her full concentration on the phone. With the horizontal position of her new phone, she could see that her friend was busily playing a game. Rati went near her and slapped her shoulders.

“Shall we go?”

Shalini looked up from her phone, and with a childlike pout, she said, “I am hungry!”

“Let us grab a snack!”

“I want lunch and not a snack!” Shalini squealed.

Rati grabbed her friend’s hand and both of them made their way towards the food court. The time sped by and the two friends remained chatting and it was nearly 3 pm when Rati looked at her watch.

It was a Saturday and the two of them had planned to spend their time roaming around the city. Their first stop was the mall and by 4 pm, after window shopping for an hour, they decided to go to the beach.

On their way out, Shalini spotted a shop and urged Rati to enter it. They both went through the whole shop, before Shalini decided to try out two tops and a pant.
Rati was waiting in a chair outside, when her gaze fell on a blue coloured silk scarf that was hanging from the display. She went near it and admired the richness of the colour. It would be perfect because blue happened to be her favourite colour.

The pair of friends exited the shop with their favourite choices safe in their bags and with the weekend happiness rolled up in their sleeves.

Before they could go to their destination, Rati’s eyes fell on another blue colour. But that happened to be a person, a man.

He was nearly tall as her friend and he seemed to be the type of person who loves going to gym. He happened to be..

“Hi Aaditya!”

“Oh hi Rati! Hi Shalini! Weekend outing?
Enjoy!”

And before they could reciprocate, he was gone. Gone in a flash.

Rati and shalini looked at each other, shrugged their shoulders and went their way.

Only if the two souls going in opposite directions remained that way. Only if Rati hadn’t tried to steal a glance at the blue shirt once again.